Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize