a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
