We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
