Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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