I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I have post one night stand depression
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
