can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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