I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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