dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
