Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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