Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Liz is crying about burritos again.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
