'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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