I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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