Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize