ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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