Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he was CRYING into my vagina
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
