like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
