I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
