i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
