check it out our google latitudes are spooning
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
