I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
