so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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