just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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