I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
