would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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