Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
