I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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