Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
