Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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