I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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