Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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