I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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