You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just cut my nipple shaving
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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