i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
