Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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