whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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