the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
