Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
