ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
