Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
