i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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