i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
