i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
