M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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