Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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