I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
