Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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