Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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