the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize