i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
