Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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