This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
