He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I wish you could order shots online.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
