She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
