She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
