IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
