He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Randomize
