I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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