wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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