It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
