I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
where are you?
Hypothermia
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Randomize
