Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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